SILENCING YOUR NAYSAYERS: A NO NONSENSE GUIDE FOR WIVES

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After marital conflict, you might get wind of negative opinions about your marriage and people might not be in support of your union. Nevertheless, marital bliss comes through effort and consistent implementation of the ground rules for relationships. These ground rules are simple and they will create a "bliss zone" in your home if you use them, especially after you have come through a fight. Here is your no-nonsense guide to unveiling the marriage you deserve and silencing your naysayers, written as seven rules. RULE #1 NO BLAMING Kill the blame game and stop looking at your husband as the scapegoat for your previous marital problems. Blaming him does not make the relationship any easier and it sets the tone for discord and discomfort in the home. Sincerely look at yourself before you look at him after there is break down. Taking responsibility is for mature women and it should be the norm for you as a married, virtuous woman.

RULE #2 NO LAZINESS Now, who wants to be around a lazy person? No one likes laziness when they know how much of an energy-sucker it is and how much time is wasted. Your marriage is like an electrical outlet; you must plug into it to get use of it. Your husband wants an active wife that he can partner with and you signed up to lovingly serve him, for always. With this in mind, realize that laziness slows both of you down and sets you up for a boring marriage. Put in the work for a wonderful, successful marriage that you both enjoy. Plan the date, surprise him, treat him to a homemade lunch, and run the bath water for two sometime.

RULE #3 NO PROCRASTINATING Putting things off only culminates in being overwhelmed, late, or despondent. As for household matters, the longer you wait, the more difficult it can become for everyone. The load of laundry that you pass by will not get itself done. Create a calendar, organize your time, and get things done efficiently. When your husband asks for you to do something, try your best to fulfill his wishes quickly. Making him wait, signals to him that you do not care or that other things take priority over him.

RULE #4 NO BACKBITING Marriage is not a school playground and it is not for the immature. When you backbite, you hurt him because you feel that he hurt you. Now, how does that help the situation? Here is the answer: it does not. If your husband offends you, talk to God and to him about it separately. Passive-aggressive behavior hurts everyone and it is better that you acknowledge your hurt and be honest with him - politely.

RULE #5 NO COMPETING You and your husband should be a team! When people encounter the two of you together, they should come away with the fact that there is unity in your marriage. Consider your husband as part of your success to the extent that when you win, he wins, and vice versa! Marriage Tip (learned from a special mother): dress to match your husband, especially for important events. Wear the same or similar color shade to symbolize your unity and to complement each other.

RULE #6 NO COMPLAINING Your words have power and presence in the atmosphere. Death and life is in the power of your tongue and you will eat the fruit of your words (Proverbs 18:21). Complaining makes the cup look half empty rather than half-full, but a grateful and joyful heart lightens the load. Solve the problem rather than complain about it, especially as it relates to your marriage.

RULE #7 NO DISRESPECT As Believers, we should not have potty mouths. Did you just read that correctly? Yes, you did. Talking to your husband should be fun, and you should be encouraging, loving, and soothing to him. Use your words to uplift him and in serious moments, sit down, stroke his arm, and talk to him at normal volume. Refrain from yelling, sarcasm, and name-calling at all times. He will be more willing to listen and think about what you are saying if you are respectful.

If you enjoyed this read, implement the nuggets given and look into building yourself as a wife through marriage books, coaching for wives, and (married) mentors. Also be sure to pray for your marriage every day. No matter what has been said about you and your marriage, believe that your marriage can and will be a great marriage this year.

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