Marriage is NOT a Honeymoon

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Marriage is something that most women desire to have. From the time they are young, they envision their Prince Charming arriving and sweeping them off their feet. He woos them beautifully. They fall in love. They get married and they live happily ever after. Sounds grand, doesn’t it? That whole fairy tale love thing just makes it all sound so pretty and worthwhile. However, that just isn’t the case. Why? Because we are real people who live in the real world. That’s why.

In real relationships, you will have troubles that will try you before you ever get to marriage. When you do make it to marriage, the troubles don’t magically stop. For some, they seem to get worse. Those troubles will make you question everything that you thought you knew about yourself and the person you married. It’s in those times that you are hit with the reality that marriage is not a honeymoon. Marriage is a real relationship that requires real work between two very real people.

Now, in defense of fairy tales, there is usually some obstacle that the characters have to overcome to be together and live happily ever after. Notice I said “obstacle.” That’s one big thing that stands in the way of their forever. The problem for us is that, in the real world, we have many obstacles.

You see, the enemy doesn’t want Godly marriages to succeed. So, he does everything he can to try to stop them. Add to that the fact that there are some trials that come to simply strengthen what we have and you’ve easily surpassed that one fairy tale obstacle.

Please understand that even the most beautiful marriage requires WORK. Yes, you read that right. WORK. W-O-R-K

When you get married, you don’t stay the same and neither does your spouse. You both grow and change in EVERY possible way. Different circumstances bring out different traits in each of you. Different levels and rates of growth bring out different traits in both of you. When those traits surface, you will both have your different reactions based on where you are in your growth.

Will times get hard? YES? From finances, sickness, school, children, family, work, and more, times will get hard. However, you can’t just take off and run and the first sign of trouble. You have to learn to work through those troubles together. Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Yes.

I got married on New Year’s Eve in 2014. My husband and I haven’t made the two-year mark yet and we’ve had all kinds of troubles. Have those troubles made me second guess myself? Yes! Have I given up? No! Will I give up? No! That’s not what marriage is about. It’s about learning, working, and growing together.

Sadly, many don’t get this. They go in looking for skies that are always sunny and total immunity from the troubles of life. Today, I encourage you not to do the same. Know what you’re getting into BEFORE you say, “I do” and always keep God at the center of your marriage. That’s how I’ve made it through and that’s how you will make it, too.

Marriage is not a honeymoon, but it doesn’t have to be a nightmare. Your marriage is what you make it. Choose to make it real and not a fairy tale that doesn't stand a chance in the real world.